My Life... as of now...
With every passing day, i get so sure about my sexuality. But because of this, i am also scared of my future. As usual.. i am scared of my loneliness in future.. OK now let me tell u whats happening in my life currently.
Recently i met a guy from net only. Though our initial interaction was not very friendly. But since i have met him personally (since almost two weeks), i am feeling a warmth in our relationship. I really think alot about him. I dont know how things would go further. But currently i am engrossed with him, emotionally. I am not chatting / talking with him a lot cause i am in mumbai and he is there in delhi. Still, just thinking of him, gives me a feeling which is known to me. Yes this is not the first time, i am getting in love.. This feeling is of love only. But isnt it too soon. I dont know the guy much. I have just met him once. Still, i just feel melting in his arms.
Not to take credit out of him, still i think its more a feeling of love which i love. But its after a long time, when i really like someone. He is just another guy, and i would not mind at all introducing him to my friends and folks. He is idealogical, a little stubborn, someone who has strong principles and values, one guy who can go overboard sometimes, over indulgent. Not very successful but i am sure he can be great in his life.. he just need some support and thats why i am gonna be there... for him .. with him
He feels that i am acting as a Big Brother.. but he has told me that i am insecure deep inside somewhere.. and YES... i am insecure.. i am dying to have somebody who just give me a hug and say "Dont worry ! Things would be better. ". I am dying for that comfort and love, but i am scared of loosing it.. Each and everyone whom i ever liked, has gone out of my life somehow or other. I want a big brother myself.. who can just take care of me.. and i can forget all the worldly problems when i am with him.
After 32 years of existence.. still i am ALONE.. and LONELY... but i am ok.. i know... this is life.. and if i can get a little philosophical... we all are here alone.. so enjoy this loneliness... till my guy get used to me and start missing me like i miss him...
Well, it could be love and it could be not.Chances are both at least in the initial stages.
Men are like that and most of the times it happens that we jump to conclusions on such encounters because we find it a chance to get over whatever we are going through...
in simple words, chance pe dance marna.. :)
I would say, get along with him for few more days..see if the feeling remains same.
Once one of my friend suggested that, to make the confusion clear, one shud sleep with the guy to find out face of the feeling. Most of the times its just physical feeling.
All the best to you. :)
Keep posting abt whereabouts...it was a disappointment to me, who kept visiting just to witness Ranbir's boxer chaddi's :)
Cheers
Anubhav
Anonymous said... December 28, 2009 at 4:00 PM
Hey Anubhav. Thanks for your comment.
Actually, we are far off frm each other, so anyways it would take much more time for us to stablise our friendship and move to next level.
But i definitely agree with you and your friend about sleeping with the guy to clarify, if the love is limited to physical attraction or if there is anything deep inside.
To tell you the truth in the year 2007 i met two people, both people were too good and we had great emotional compatibility as well. But we slept once only, and somehow felt that we were not physically compatible.
Out of those, one guy is not in touch with me at all. The other is still in touch, just to wish festivals.
I think, to have an overall compatibility, sexual as well as emotional and intellectual is very important to take the relationship to the next level.
Definitely would keep on writing more frequently.. Dont worry, you would be seeing much more than just ranbir's chaddis :)
Unknown said... December 28, 2009 at 11:41 PM
Hehe...Thanks for the reply too :)
I glad to see two more new post...n would be more glad if you link other gay indian blogs..its a good thing to read about other ppl's feelings from the same country of same community :)
Thanks :)
Cheers
Anubhav
Anonymous said... December 29, 2009 at 10:20 AM
Sure anubhav,
Send me link to good blogs, i would definitely link from my blog. You can send the blog URLs at my mail ID sdelhilove@gmail.com
Thanks
YUGYAG
Unknown said... December 31, 2009 at 12:09 AM
I think i was askin u to provide links.. Anyways i created my own blog now and will start writing from new year :P
So keep in touch :)
Cheers
Anubhav cum Vaibhav
Sid said... December 31, 2009 at 12:49 PM
I stumbled upon your blog when I tried to find gay bloggers in Delhi. Didn't go through your blog fully, but I guess this will keep me busy for another week.
ATB in your love life. And hope you find your Mr.Perfect soon.
Moulee said... January 18, 2010 at 9:00 PM
Nice post. Indian gays are at a serious disdvantage because society isn't ready for gay relationships, and individuals are so conditioned by society, that they aren't ready either.
Good luck!
Unknown said... January 19, 2010 at 6:08 AM
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