YUGYAG

Hey dude relax! Tough times are up for all. You better own your responsibilities, all yourself. Better, your mother stays back at home, restrict herself to the in-house chores. It is high time she needed rest. You can make all your bill payments done online, can't you? Also why are those Easy bill stops, there for? Why don't you spare a few hours on the weekends?

Set your priorities clear. Balancing home and career is most becoming of a man. No guarantee, a wife would do all this.

Cheers!

Dont quite see how this situation has to do anything with your sexuality.

a lot of NRI families face the same situation. It also is a sign of declining social connectivity of the Indian society.

Most retired folks get together and try helping each other out. They call on them, and try going out together to pay bills. Try and exploit such relationships, sometimes they are painful but if they are taking care of your parents, its worth investing in them.

Another change you need to bring about is in the mindset. Dont hesitate to use E-payment schemes or using agents - its worth the additional investment. Use YOUR contacts to help out your parents.

The situation you are talking about happens as much to straight guys' parents. At least the gay son is staying with his parents and offering them support instead of staying in a separate home with his wife and family...

Such a shame about ur mom's cheating experience. It certainly is fortunate that the amount wasn't more than 5000. My heart goes out to u about the lack of support for ur parents but u should consider urself blessed that u still have both parents in the first place.

I agree with dinesh that it isn't such a gay problem. A straight guy with a working wife would pretty much be in the same fix. There are ways to overcome it without having to get married.

It's tough being gay especially in india but it has its perks too. Wouldn't u agree?

Good gracious, i read some of the suggestion offered to you on gaydia and they were such turn offs. You could well, take the words of Dinesh and go on with your life. A hetero marriage is not just funny but a blatant mockery of the institution called marriage. Stay away from such advices.

Dont tell me mohan.. you are following me everywhere.. :)

By the way thanks to all.. who have given their comments here...

I think.. i really need to be a little more responsible for my home and my parents... I should behave as son of the house.. and shoulder responsibilities.


Though the problem is that being the youngest in the house.. everybody has treated me as a kid.. uptill now ( though i m 30 now).. hence was never able to take responsibilities.. BUT NOW.. is the high time...

Ya right, i would follow you everywhere!! I'm also the youngest and most pampered kid in the family and would definitely understand your situation.

Please check my mail and respond to my query. My dilemma is definitely not for public consumption.

Hey are you fine? Why no posts or reply to emails. Are you not keeping good health. Please respond.

a) your question is silly

b) You being a gay yourself are saying you have to behave as the 'son' of the family...for Christ can we please come out of these Gender constructions...There is no such thing as behaving as son or daughter I thought at least you'd understand this.

And our abilities to do our duties is not based upon our sexuality but its upon our desire to do it. Being gay is not a disability you know.

My parents has no son, I am their eldest daughter and there has been no point in their life when they wished they had a son...There is nothing on earth that I can't do for them.

Your worry is also so baseless, you said I am not going to marry so who would take care of my parents. What do you mean, when a man marries a girl, he gets home a full time nurse cum housemaid is it? Ya may be that's what the great Indian MCPs think.

By that means we all must be married to take care of our parents. Why the fuck should some one side the family take care of them when their own children can't take that responsibility.

And moreover there are tonns of such family where their straight sons or daughters get married but they live far away leaving behind their old parents to be on their own.

I can't believe you thought marriage is a guarantee for your parents well being...

Sorry for being so rude but your thoughts were quite annoying...

Lastly I think educated independent gay men like you must stand up and assert your right to chose your sexuality...you shouldn't hide.. people like you should come out and face the world with dignity... only then would the world respect you..

its not going to be easy but you must fight..

I Second you Sanjukta!

Bonjour YUGYAG,
A pleasure all mine in meeting you. And unfortunate that your life mirrors mine. Being 40 and single has singular hardships and having parents in this state in life makes issues so...palling. I'm French-American living in the Washington DC area and while my parents live in the south of France my brothers reside in Michigan and Texas. Both are married and families of there own. My mother has epilepsy and malaria, my father is in the final stages of terminal heart disease and is house-bound. Being so far away is difficult enough when you are so close to family and even more so when they silently plead for help. My brothers feel since I have no wife/children that the burden of our parents should be put on my shoulders and since I am the eldest that I should have no hesitation what-so-ever. But...I hesitate...because I ache to be in love, to have someone to call my own, to share my life with and to become one with. I tire of the single life...haven't dated in six years - not even kissed someone in all this time let alone have sex. Like I said....I ache...no, I languish for my soul mate. Hope it helps that someone kind-of understands what you are going through...
Kindred Soul,
Marc

Bonjour YUGYAG,
A pleasure all mine in meeting you. And unfortunate that your life mirrors mine. Being 40 and single has singular hardships and having parents in this state in life makes issues so...palling. I'm French-American living in the Washington DC area and while my parents live in the south of France my brothers reside in Michigan and Texas. Both are married and families of there own. My mother has epilepsy and malaria, my father is in the final stages of terminal heart disease and is house-bound. Being so far away is difficult enough when you are so close to family and even more so when they silently plead for help. My brothers feel since I have no wife/children that the burden of our parents should be put on my shoulders and since I am the eldest that I should have no hesitation what-so-ever. But...I hesitate...because I ache to be in love, to have someone to call my own, to share my life with and to become one with. I tire of the single life...haven't dated in six years - not even kissed someone in all this time let alone have sex. Like I said....I ache...no, I languish for my soul mate. Hope it helps that someone kind-of understands what you are going through...
Kindred Soul,
Marc

My dear, its really very heart breaking post you have posted on this, but you tell me one thing even if u got married how can u assure that ur wife will be supporting hand to your family. In this world we can not take guarrenty of any one. I request you if you are only son of your parents you should take care of them. Parents are not valuable than any other things like job or profession, and at this stage you should support them fully.