YUGYAG

Bipolar Disorder :) :(

Congratulations... your best pal here, is just diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. Now I saw this coming. Since last one week, I was not able to go to office. Reason - there was No Reason. Yes, can you imagine, there was no reason of me behaving in this weird way. Though, since last one year, I was the best employee in my department, and suddenly I went blank. I shut my phones off, with just a stupid message to my boss, that I am on leave due to some illness, will speak to you once I am OK. I slept slept and slept, my appetite went to toss. My mom was worried for me. I am sure, she has cried for me too. At her age, I never wanted to give her more problems. 

Finally my family coaxed me in seeing a doctor and I went to a homeopath who also visits VIMHANS, one of the best medical institute for neuro and brain related issues. This guy heard me for half an hour. And then pronounced me with BIPOLAR DISORDER.. I studied more on net, and think I have bipolar disorder II.

Great, so my family now has to deal, not only with my gayness  but also with  bipolar disorder . WOW.. U know, i spoke to few of my gay friends, and they told me that they also have such phases when they just shut down themselves. But are they all suffering from similar disease.  Do you think, this disease is more common in gay people.  I am not sure.. 


May God be with all of my friends, and may they be with me..  I know I have killed lot of  friendships because of this shut down issue. There was a guy, with whom i was almost on the verge of relationship, and then i just hit this low phase, and i  snapped all ties with him for few days. and GONE... he was gone with the wind. Obviously who would like to have a boyfriend, who has such big mood swings. 


Even today, i have someone in my life, who is very special for me. He is not my boyfriend, but a brother someone who says he will always always there for me. He is a married guy, but even i like him very much. But i am not sure, how much will he be able to handle my mood swings. I have not spoken to him since last one week, and he has been patient uptill now.. but uptill when.. i dont know. 


I am intelligent, i know the pros and cons. but then this is not in my hand. I feel as a puppet due to such chemical imbalances in my brain. I feel helpless. But i wanna fight, atleast today.. i do wanna put a brave face and fight against this problem. 


I tried searching, but didn't find any support group here in India. I wont mind creating one support group here in India for all bipolar disorder gay guys.. Where we can share our experiences, and we can support each other.

If you want to discuss anything more on this topic, feel free to reach me on my mail ID... sdelhilove@gmail.com

PS :     Hey guys, please.. I have not gone MAD.. i m just another person suffering from bipolar disorder, and I need your support more than often. So please be around. I like you visiting my blog. I like your comments. I LOVE YOU ALL.