YUGYAG

I can't tell if you are for gay couples or against, based on your post. However, I wish to say this much. You make it sound like a gay couple is focused on just the sex. Countless times you seem to say "if the sex is bad, the relationship is disolved". If you say this as a striaght person, then as a lebian I'll say straight up that you're wrong. If you say this a gay person, perhaps you're in the wrong relationship.

On a personal note, there's this girl I'm attracted to. I've told her how I feel, but she hasn't responded yet. However, never have I been thinking about how the sex will be. Rather, I've been thinking about how she makes me feel, just as (from what you have said) straight couples think.

You say that gay couples aren't tied to the relationship, or how you make it seem, have any desire to have a "relationship" at all. I can't tell you how wrong you are. Most people (gay, straight, and elsewise) wish to form a special connection with someone they love. Perhaps you are venting about how you can't get a date, but to say that there exist a group of people who enjoy hopping from person to person just for the sex is ignorance. Sure there are gay people (just as there are straight people) who have a "relationship" just for the sex. However most of us want to form a relationship with a person, not their sex organs.

Therefore, I understand it's your blog and you can write whatever you want. But before you start posting such ignorance, think. Don't write about stuff you have no real basis for. Whether you are straight, and trying to understand what a gay couple does, or whether you are gay, and just in a "sex crazed" state of mind, think about what you are saying. Regardless of your sexual orientation, you make it sound as if gay couples are sex maniacs. You have the right to your opinion, and that's why I posted this to state mine.

Well, this has been a problem with gay relationships but more recently it has been a similar problem with hetero relationships. When I was young (I just turned 67) hetero couple got to know each other before sex and back then usually gay relationships started with sex. There is a saying that if there isn't more than sex the relationship will not last. Both my love, Tom, and I have been through this. We met the first night of college and became instant friends. In hind sight we fell in love but back in 1959 guys did not fall in love. He knew that he was sexually attracted to guys, I was in denial and rationalized- it was not as sinful to fantasize about men. He tried to seduce me New Year's Eve 1967. I freaked out. Later that year he entered a sexual relationship with his Don. It was not until 1971 that I had my first homosexual encounter with my Don. The relationship with with Tom's Don lasted a few years and when the sex was not what it had been, there was nothing else there and though they remained friends, they were no longer in love. My affair with my Don lasted but a few months. He moved away and when I visited him a few months later, it was over. Both these relationships were rooted in sex. They did not last. Though Tom called me and said that he loved me New Years Eve 1976, we had been separated from each other until March of 1966. When he called he was drunk and asked him to call back when he was sober. He did not call and i did not call him back. Well, there had been much more to our love than sex, we still love each other. He says that he loves me from the head and heart. Though we are sexually attracted to each other, our relationship is no based on sex per se. I agreed with you most of my adult life as a gay man but now understand that being gay is not just about being sexually attracted to another man but is even more about really being in love with another man.

bob

I definitely understand the comments, you are writing.

I think, with age,people do become more patient, mature and start looking for the other and better sides of a gay relationship.

The article which i wrote here, definitely reflects my own observations. It is what i have felt. May be i have been with all wrong men till date.

Recently someone commented me, that i should trust on right kind of men. But how will i know if the other man is of right kind.. or is he also a sex seeker.

By the way, i am a closet gay guy.. and yes i had my share of relationships with girls too.(though non sexual)

Here are the roots for this article..... one year ago, i met a guy, and from day one it was clear that we wanted LTR. We were together for around six months, but then the guy wanted either to move out of India.. cause in India, the environment is not very condusive for gay relationship. OR to break the relationship.

Unfortunately, we ended the relationship..

And recently i met a guy, with whom everything was PERFECT... but unfortunately, we didnt click on bed. And the whole attitude is so different now. It seems as if he is doing some kind of favour to me whenever he talks.